Good old British humour NOT FOR KIDS

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly,
Lord, what do You want me to do?"

... God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."
Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?'

So God explained that to him, too.
Then, God said, 'I want you to
reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under His breath), "Geez....."

And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said....

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(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!)

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"What's a headache?"
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Last nite the girlfriend said to me "if u turn off the bedside lamp I'll take it up the arse"
With hindsight I spose I should've waited for the bulb to cool down first....

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Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more?... My blue eyes?... My pouting red lips?... My pretty face?... My 38-inch tits?... My nice tight little pussy?... Or my sexy arse?"
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, "Your fucking sense of humour!"

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couple days ago my wife said to me:

wanna try something new, than she gave me a sexy wink;

i said yes of course,

she; whisper dirty things in my ear,


i said;












kitchen, bathroom, garage